Our Adoption Story: Waiting to be Matched (Part 6)

After years and years of prayers in hopes that God would bring us to this season, here we are. Expectantly waiting for God to bring us the baby He has for us. The amount of time I have spent in my life wondering if we would ever get the opportunity to be in this season is finally here. The worrying about all the steps it would take for us to get to this point and taking a big sigh of relief knowing that we did it! We are on the other side of all the logistics of adoption and now we wait... 

The Million Dollar Question

Do you know when you will get a baby?

Yes-we know it will be in God's perfect timing...& no He has not revealed that to us just yet. But just as the first warm night of spring hits, you know summer is upon you. We can feel the season changing all around us. Our hearts are growing in every way.  Our baby is in some mother's womb right now and we can feel a deep love within us that we are getting closer and closer to finally meeting each other. We are trying to soak up the ending season as a family of five and embracing all the sweet memories we have made together up until this point. We all are so invested in the baby that is coming, and we wait expectantly for the day we receive the phone call that we have been matched. 

We are headed on a trip to Mexico in July. We cannot have placement until we get back since baby can't leave the country for the first six months. In June, we can start presenting to birth moms who are due after we get home. We can't start presenting to drop-ins until we are home. So, any time after July 19th, we can have a baby!!!

What We Do Know About Baby

During the home study process, you fill out and discuss with your agency what baby you are willing to accept. So, to answer any questions, you don't have to open up your home with a situation you aren't comfortable with or that wouldn't be in the best interest of the child. You go over very thoroughly all of your options. I'll list an overview of what I can remember, so you'll get the idea.

Race

Drug Exposure

Alcohol Exposure

Genetic Makeup

Genetic Diseases

Special Needs

Deformities

How they were conceived

***You do not get to pick a gender with our agency***

Of course, I'll add that the agency will tell us everything they know about baby and birth mom. Our agency typically has a good relationship with the birth mom. Because the birth mom is in a safe place, she will reveal more to them about baby than a birth mom with a state agency. There is always the risk of not being honest, but it is what it is. You will not be presented to a birth mom if you are not comfortable with raising her child. Before being matched, you have the opportunity to know who you are presenting too and have the opportunity to say yes or no.

When Do They Match

As stated in a previous blog post, our agency will not match until later in their pregnancy. Around 7th-9th month or until they are certain the mother will choose to place. If there's any indication that she hasn't totally made up her mind, they will not get an adoptive family involved. If this means waiting until after the baby is born to match, then they will wait until after the baby is born.  

Due to the chance of not matching until birth plus having the opportunity for drop-in cases, many adoptive families live the on-call life during the matching season. You're one phone call away from getting the news that your baby has been born. 

Meeting Birth Mom

It's on a case-by-case basis, so this is all subject to change. If you have matched with a birth mom while pregnant, there will be a time and place scheduled to go meet her. Have the opportunity to get to know her and develop some sort of relationship. A caseworker will attend this meeting with you. During this meeting, you will discuss things like circumcision and various other decisions made in the hospital. Technically the baby won't be in your care until after the hospital scene, so this is a good opportunity to get on the same page as to what decisions you would like to be made during the hospital. Some mothers even offer to give the baby their colostrum and help with the baby's first food. You will also discuss if the birth mom will want you there during the delivery etc.  Again, all case-by-case basis, but there is a window of opportunity to make a birth plan. You will also start discussing the realistic relationship that you're open to after the baby is born and putting plans in place to make sure it's peaceful for all involved. 

Our Matching Profile

You can view our profile on Ready-to-Adopt Families - Christian Homes and Family Services

The birth mom will see a lot more than what is on the website about your family. She can read our entire autobiography if she wants too. She will also get a 20-page in-depth photo album/scrapbook of our life. See real life pictures and a good snapshot of exactly what our life looks like. 

Putting together our photo album was so much fun! My heart is so thankful for the family God has given us and the life we live. That was one of my deepest convictions as to why we needed to adopt. God has blessed our family in abundant ways, and we know that. So, we made the decision to make a longer table, instead of building a higher wall. To open up our home for someone to come experience the Goodness of God right alongside of us. 

Final Thoughts

I hope by sharing all these blogs with you so far has really given you a look into the logistics of adoption. I'd love to see adoption become a normal expectation among Christian families. It truly is holy ground. Our family has experienced a deeper love of God through our journey so far, and the best part is we are just getting started!!

Please pray for us as we continue on our journey in the season of waiting. Pray for our birth mom and for a wonderful pregnancy. Pray that God continues to direct our steps and that the new life He is bringing us is everything we didn't know we needed. Our hearts are at peace knowing His timing will be absolutely perfect.

Thank you for following along our journey and will keep you updated with any news along the way.