Our Adoption Story: Drop-In Twins (Part 7)

The morning of Monday June 2nd, I was enjoying a morning filled with thoughts about our upcoming adoption as we could get a call anytime saying a birth mom is in her 8th month and is ready to match. As mentioned in a previous blog, I explained how we aren't technically ready for a baby until after July 19. Our family is going to Mexico for a big milestone birthday celebration. We wished we could take a baby with us on this trip, but an adopted baby can't legally leave the country until after the six months consummation hearing.  So, we have told our agency to not match us with a birth mom with a due date earlier than mid-July. 

Early afternoon, I received a text from our caseworker asking us if we had time for a call. I quickly responded and he called. He proceeded to tell me that a birth mom is specifically requesting our family even though we aren't ready to present. She saw us on the website and when given profiles of families to choose from, our profile wasn't there.  She asked her caseworker about us and told her that she desired our family to raise her babies. .... yes you read that right. BABIES!  Here I was on a call hearing how a mother wanted us to raise her TWINS.... oh and THEY ARE ALREADY BORN! Truly the craziest call of my life! On one hand it's an absolute dream call and on the other hand-reality hits of what exactly bringing home twins by the end of the week would look like for our family. 

I mean here we are presented a situation where there are two sweet babies that are waiting for you to come get them. The potential of our future changes in such a drastic way if we say yes. There's also the reality that twins are a lot to take for anyone. Plus, with three children of our own, it would stretch us really thin in all areas to become a family of 7 on a whim. We'd immediately need a new car, the adoption would be more expensive, twice the diapers, twice the formula, twice the baby gear, twice the everything....and of course we know it would be twice the love and twice the blessing...so much to consider! 

First of all, it is truly the most humbling feeling to hear that a mother wants to give you her most sacred gift, her child...or in this case, her children. I have gone over this process in my mind a thousand times and not once did I picture that a mother would seek us out before agreeing to present with already born twins and before we are officially ready with absolutely no time to prepare. What a curveball.

If you know me, you know how much I love Biblical Womanhood. As women, we are naturally caregivers. If it was up to us women, we'd want God to give us all the babies! But I'm so thankful that God has brought order out of chaos and established our husbands as the final authority knowing no bad decision will be made when your husband is able to lead properly. God will continue to bless you if you obediently stay in His order. I'm beyond grateful for my husband and his sound leadership in our family. The peace in that is priceless.

When my husband called, we had unity and submission in our decision to say no. Thankfully God had also given us that deep inner gut knowing that these were not our children. What a comfort it is to know God doesn't leave you alone in these situations because it is a hard one to make. 

As the day passed, grief sat in. The life that could have been was on my mind, but more than anything it was the birth mom. I wasn't prepared to tell a birth mom no. She wanted our home for her children, and we said no. If you know me, I'm a helper. I want to be there to help in any way I can. I give open handedly. Yet, I sat here knowing that there are two babies waiting for a family and I said no. It was 100% for the right reasons and I know our no is someone else's yes, but it's a lot to take on mentally. I'm thankful God is building more character and strength in me as I go through this. I was humbled last night as I saw a big picture of growth within. I spent years crying out to God to give me a big family through adoption. I mean raising your own and adopting twins would be a total dream. Yet, when the moment came, we said no. It would not be best for our home and there's so much wisdom in that. I am shocked at how much peace I have during this time and that is God's grace pouring over us in abundance. 

When the dust settles and we are able to move on from this point, our takeaways are the following... That when we get the call that our baby is here or on the way, we will have a deep knowing that the baby is ours and we will be so thankful we waited for God's best for our family! We also know that come July 19-we better be prepared to get a baby soon! We definitely got confirmation that birth mothers are looking for families just like ours. What an honor. 

My prayer now is that these twins will find the family God has for them and for the birth mom to be at peace with whomever she chooses. I pray God has His hand on these babies for all the days of their life and they grow up to be a much-needed blessing in this world.

I'll end with saying that adoption emotions are absolutely wild. A friend of mine calls it emotional whiplash, and that is very true. I will try to share as best as I can as I know several of you are also called to adoption. My goal is to prepare you as much as I can along the way with our experience...