Our Adoption Story: Our Dream Agency (Part 3)

During the months of November 2024 - January 2025, we had to get everything ready to be approved for orientation with Christian Homes and Family Services. We had to sign a long in-depth statement of faith, which was easy to sign as their beliefs aligned with ours on every single level. This agency requires a high bar of excellence concerning faith, and they require you to agree, so everyone is on the same page. A great way of weeding out the world. They also required 9-10 specific in-depth confidential references including both sets of parents, pastor, church elder, doctor, neighbor, friend, employer, and school administrator. If the agency doesn't have a good feel about you, you will be denied quickly.  The agency is very selective for good reason, and we love that about them.

After completing all the requirements, we received our official invitation that we were approved to attend Christian Homes and Family Services adoption orientation! Blake and I left for a two-day orientation in February. We had no idea what to expect. On the drive down, my husband and I stated that if we do not have a good feeling about it, we do not have to pursue this option. We felt a little like we were going on a blind date. Excited and nervous not knowing exactly what we were getting ourselves into.

Our God is a Promise Keeper

When we walked in the door, we suddenly became overwhelmed with an abundant amount of peace. This agency was so welcoming! Twelve other couples were invited, and we quickly discovered like-mindedness everywhere. It was the best room filled with couples one could only dream of. The staff was absolutely incredible. I mean 10/10 all around. Blew us away.  This was exactly where we needed to be, and we were so honored to be in such a wonderful room with the best kind of people. 

Blake and I sat in that orientation humbled to the core honestly about how good our God is! We have spent many years listening to the horror stories about the process of adoption.  I mentioned in my previous post about our deal we made with God: "God we will adopt, but you will have to pave the way and make it a peaceful one."  God was making it very clear to us that He was keeping His promise.

 

About Christian Homes and Family Services

Did you know there's only one agency in the country like Christian Homes and Family Services? Christian adoptive couples come from all over the country to find them. I feel so spoiled typing this as other couples traveled from Pennsylvania and Tennessee and various other states, and yet this agency was only 2.5 hours from our home. Seriously-cue the humble tears. Our agency is in our own backyard.

Christian Homes and Family Services is truly a hidden gem. They have been an adoptive ministry for more than 60 years. They truly believe that adoption can be a beautiful and peaceful experience for both the adoptive families as well as the birth mothers. Just as God would want it to be. Their vision: "A Christian Home for Every Child."

Birth Mothers: Christian Homes first priority is to take excellent care of the birth mothers who reach out to them. They offer them a safe place to live (their other children can come too) and are being cared for by deeply rooted biblical women and caseworkers.  They provide them proper counseling, guidance, are there to meet their needs, and most importantly show them an abundant amount of love and compassion regardless of if they decide to place or parent. 

If the birth mother decides to place their child up for adoption, Christian Homes promises them a strongly vetted, Christian home for them to choose from. Christian Homes is there for them throughout their pregnancy and until they are back on their feet and on a new path that leads to a much better life. What a ministry! 

Adoptive Families: They take excellent care of adoptive families during the process and promise every adoptive family a baby. Since they only accept a few families at a time, the waitlist isn't very long once you have gone through orientation. They try to keep as many families on the ready-to-adopt list as they do birth mothers.  For example, in 2024 they had 23 families and 27 babies. (Twins!) They also do not get adoptive families involved with a birth mom until the 7th-9th month or until the baby is born to reduce all possible risks of disruptions. 

Disruptions: When the birth mom matches with an adoptive family and then decides to parent.

Many other agencies match families when birth moms are early in their pregnancy. This is a bad idea for a few of reasons. A.) She changes her mind and decides to parent. B.) The adoptive parents spend months preparing for baby when it was all for nothing. C.) You could lose a lot of money in the process.  

So, I'm very thankful this agency does not match until they are confident a birth mom will place. They do this to avoid disruptions. Disruptions are rare with this agency, thankfully! In addition, if a disruption would occur, our agency will fully refund the matching fee. We will talk more about all the expenses that in the next blog post...

The 48 Hour Rule

I also need to add a very important disclaimer. Texas has a law that the birth mom cannot sign over her rights until 48 hours after birth. (It varies with every state) There is always a chance mom will decide to parent. Because our agency has such a special relationship with the birth mom, they feel very confident that she will choose placement once matched as they have put together a solid plan of what life after baby looks like. She has been through grief counseling to know what to expect while in the hospital with all the rush of emotions along with postpartum hormones, so these feelings do not come as a surprise. The birth mom has a solid plan in place to accomplish her next steps to help her gracefully move onto the next season in her life. Our agency plays a big role in this for them. They also have the opportunity to continue their relationship with our agency for life if needed as part of the ministry Christian Homes provides. 

I want to add this in honor of our future birth mom. We have been fully educated on how tough the hospital scene can be. It's been described to us as bittersweet. While we get a brand-new baby, the mother is experiencing her hardest loss of her life. Many birth moms at Christian Homes know that they would be a great mother, but they don't want their life to be forever tied with the baby's father. A lot of the birth moms are looking for Godly fathers to parent their child as well, and that is something they couldn't provide. Of course there are many other reasons for adoption, but keep in mind these are mothers who deeply love their child. A sacrificial love in the biggest way. 

Open Adoption

Adoption has changed over the years as studies have shown that children who have a connection to their birth family improves their overall health compared to a closed adoption. With that, our agency requires every family agree to an open adoption. Couples can find this scary, but it is the exact opposite. I'll explain. First of all- you are the parent. They have zero rights after they sign over their rights in the hospital. Open adoption is specifically case-by-case. Our agency advises you to start with the door cracked and if the relationship appears to be good, then you can open it wider. As opposed to starting with the door wide open and hurting others while trying to close it. 

Open adoption can look differently for every family. Maybe it's as simple as writing the mom a letter or sending a text every now and then. Maybe she gets to see the child for a quick meet up once a year depending on how stable she is emotionally. Maybe it's as simple as knowing her story and who she is, which is far more than closed adoptions provide. To be completely honest, you are not legally bound to have an open adoption even if you agree to the terms. It will be up to you and your integrity. If the birth mom is a healthy individual with her life on the right track, there is no reason to keep the door closed. There is however an abundant number of reasons to cut off communication if the birth mom becomes a threat. As the parent, you have the power to decide. Just be honest with the birth mom up front as to what you are open too. Our birth mother needs the love of God as much as anyone. God allowed our paths to cross, and we will do whatever He leads us to do. We will honor our birth mother as best as we can. 

Drop-Ins

Our agency also accepts drop-ins. Meaning that a birth mom who hasn't been working with Christian Homes prior and desires to place her baby up for adoption after the child is born. Christian Homes will present her families to choose from, and you can get a call that day that a baby is born and you have been chosen. Talk about a fun phone call! Drop everything and go get your baby!

Choosing to Raise the Baby Holistically 

This may be my biggest answer to prayer so far. I know many of you reading will want to hear about this as well. What a joy and an absolute relief it was to learn that our agency fully believes that as soon as the child is placed in our care after the hospital stay, you can make all the decisions as long as a health professional-either a pediatrician, M.D, D.O, or Nurse Practitioner supports your decision to "delay" injections on the paperwork they have to keep on file for the first 6 months until consummation of the adoption.

Finalizing the Adoption

From the hospital stay until consummation at six months, the child will legally belong to the agency. The agency places the baby with you during that time. You will be responsible for all the bills etc. You can travel with baby out of the state as long as you let the agency know, but you cannot travel out of the country until after consummation. 

During the first six months, your caseworker will do five home visits. Adoptive families will also submit monthly reports about how the baby is doing. They will want to make sure everyone is adjusting well, and baby is doing great. Only once in 60 years has our agency had to take the baby due to the father lying about a current affair. They said it was absolutely horrible and devastating for all those involved. The agency has deeply vetted you long before a placement; therefore, there is no need to worry about the agency taking the child from you. Plus by this point, you have established a wonderful relationship with your caseworker. We absolutely love ours! He has been such a blessing to us, and he recently adopted two children from Christian Homes as well. 

Once the baby turns six months old, you finalize everything in court, and the baby becomes as legally yours as if you are the biological parents. This is when you can toss out the "delayed" injections with your health professional and deny them forever.

Whew! I know that was a lot! There's still so much to cover, but I hope that gave you a good insight into our agency and the blessing they are. 

Next Up: Adoption Fees and Witnessing the Miracles of God Financially